Confessions of An Egg Candler

In the summer of my tenth year, circa 1963, I decided I needed a job. DC Comics had published more 10-cent superhero issues than coin prospecting under the sofa, riffling through Dad’s trousers, or keeping the change from grocery runs could support. Even if I tacked on a surcharge for embarrassing items like Modess or […]

The Lead We All Must Bed

I am proud to be an American. I mean, sure, I may not have been born here, but since becoming a US citizen back in 2007, I’ve held dear to my heart fast food restaurants, heavy traffic on the expressways and the excessive violence that fills our every living moment here in the good old […]

An Uninspiring Message from an Apathetic Rosie the Riveter

Listen up, ladies. I actually don’t think we CAN do it. Don’t get me wrong. I’ve got my bandana; I’ve got my game face; I’ve got the sleeve of my denim shirt rolled up to my bicep and just begging to be coated with the sweat of American freedom. But I’ve got some serious doubts […]

Stress Relief for Beginners

“Two deep breaths. Two deep breaths. Two de–”. I stop myself as my voice begins to speed up again. This is a yoga studio, no place to show off who I used to be. In my mind I stress the used to be, because if I can convince myself, I sure as hell can convince […]