Reflections of a Father

As I reflect suddenly on my childhood years,
My eyes glance at my battered son in tears.
In his bloody disfigured face
I remember myself in his place.

As to why I allowed this cycle to go on,
Maybe God in heaven could respond.
In my youthful days I had pledged to differ,
But still to my monstrous father’s ways I refer.

Kicks, slaps, and boxes he showered on me
I’d wear sunglasses for no one to see.
But still they’d always be there
Bruises and harsh words that left permanent emotional fear.

Now twenty years later I have become that monster
Devious and merciless all traits learnt from the master
The day I dreaded is here today
And its seems it’s here to stay.

What is happening to me?
What has become of me?
My son surely hates me as I hated my father
And may wished I’d vanished
Deep beneath the very sea
Or dared to take my life from me.

Into his blood spotted eyes I gaze
To hear his little soul speak I am amazed
‘”What have I done to deserve this father?”
Then deep into my soul I pondered
But there already the answer lay
“Nothing my son, nothing” I say

“But daddy, why beat me so?
For I am sore down to my toes
My desire is to be loved more
And that you may open your heart’s door
I pray that ypu may let me in
So that my soul may rest indeed with thee
For that is where a loving son should be”

And there I stand, shocked to my very bones
My son’s soul speaking to me made me moan
How could I have been so blind?
When all this time God was trying to show me a sign
Yet in my ignorance I never cared to mind.

Here I stand on the brink of tears
Something I have always dreaded
To be attacked by my emotions
To the point of total frustration
Back I can go no longer
I have to hold and love him forever.

It is at this moment
When i thought I was going insane
Yet one moment of reflection made the change
And now I swear my life shall never be the same.