I Sorrow Alone

This sweet taste is one I can’t have.
I eager to have it,
I urge to taste it.
Why it refuses to come, I don’t know.
These agonizing reason sullen me.

I watch with envy my fellow gender,
Cuddle and handle theirs with love.
On their face stood the sunlight,
On their world the full moon settled,
But it passed me by.

“What is the cause?”
I questioned the so-called gynecologist
But she stares and disagreed back at me with lost tongues
“You are fine, be patient”
I heard that every Tuesday’s health checks.

“Patient”
The word hated my path and I returned it now, this tenth year.
I had her nine years ago
But she never had me, she despairs me.
A single gift, she never gave me

“I warned you, didn’t I?”
Frustrated husband’s mother said,
She had grown tired of seeing my flat belly.
She whispered terrible advice to her son.
“Marry another, she is a man”

Her son was silent as a grave yard,
His brain was a white snow
Confused, he was
Glanced my way and caught my inner sorrow, his heart was weak,
“No, time will tell. He said, “I love her.”

Like a mice I passed a silent smile,
He nodded, he understood.
He was the only blessing I had.
He had long-suffering; he had her more than me,
With all the likeness, he never gifted her.

“Let him go!”
Mother-in-law snarled with angry.
“I need a grandchild”
“Unharmed him!”
Your bewitchment on him is strong!”

Agony tears streamed down my crimson cheeks,
Her words were hell.
Held back tears, I became an adept to her vilification.
She was insensate and so was her heart.
Her needs might change her, if only I could grant it.

Raising dampen hands to the sky,
Called the Creator, he listens, as usually
He heard, halted and heaved,
“Patient, patient”
I tried, heavy load that aches my mind but endured.

I lost it.
An end was the answer.
Took a rope for a ceiling,
Waved aside my enemy who now became a friend- fear.
Tighten the rope around the neck; a single glance down brought my sense back,

Tick-tick.

Bam!
I tried to reach the fallen chair with aching feet,
Blood was my tears.
A sudden halt of blood I felt in my vein
Cry was as silent as ever

Help was on my mind,
Utter-I could not.
Mercy came from unknown, a figure appeared, my love
Without thought he rushed me like a tiger who met it prey.
“Never do this again!” he stormed

More of a whisper than a roar was his words,
He is here, that matters now.
Drastic lifted my bloodless hand; I reach his neck for a tight embrace,
My blessing,
My hope.

I lived, we lived,
More four years, beautiful years, painful years,
Heard a knock on the door,
I checked,
She was here, my patience, my child.

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