A War of Existance in One Week

Cold sweats and chills elude my existence periodically
throughout the days and nights as I watch and observe
the world. A language of death! It’s smells disturbs
the inside of my instincts: oh how terrifying.

I wrestle with the nights, the disturbing endless endless
nights alone. I’m shattered with the thoughts of being
surrounded by dead human bodies. One moment it’s a
disaster of an earthquake. Killing 70,000 people, the next
moment it’s an airline crash of 78 people killed, trying
to help the needy from the remains of the living who
survived the quake.

The next moment there’s a cry of 56 more people dead
from a disastrous train accident in London, the worst
recorded in history in more than 40 years; a three train
accident!

If this isn’t enough, A fire breaks out in the Los Angeles
area,claiming several lives, caused by high Santa Ana
winds. this has been claimed a major disaster area.

A form of war? Yes. A form of war upon this land, but
a war in our hearts. I claim this to be an effect on me
in a personal way because, I sense it, I smell it, I feel it,
I live it.

It’s dark and invading, I never realized the effect all this
has brought upon me. i acted as if I could never care, but
it took e by surprise. i gasp at all I denied, I fear:
i fear for my own life, I fear from the disasters I have no
control over. I fear the world I live inside will swallow me
up alive. and there’s no one who can stop it, not even God
himself, I pulled out the good old book The Bible and it’s
pages are cold: I cant find my way. If that’s not
devastating! What left? Actually I feel powerless,
I don”t cry all tho I’d like to: I shake inside from fear from
death of the world. It mourns, I don’t know anyone person
in particular although I’m one myself. i fear for it’s own kind.

I’m still in control of my own existence to a point, but
for how long? How long will I continue to be protected by my
creator I know or will I have to totally depend upon my very
own internal being?

Where in the hell are we.

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I am 52 years old and work for Colorado school district as a custodian.